Annie Get Your Gun, and shoot me in the head with it!

That's exactly how I feel right now about this ridiculous excuse for a show! I'm getting extremely fed up with the directors and the way I'm being treated in rehearsals. And it will stop, or else I will take other action. I'm given no respect by the directors, no consideration and they treat me like I'm some sort of hooligan troublemaker! Anyone who knows me knows that this is the polar opposite of who I am and I'm getting really tired of this blasphemous treatment really quickly! With all that I have going on right now, I am giving this ridiculous excuse of a musical the majority of my effort. I have so many other priorities and projects happening simultaneously and I give most of my time and concentration on this stupid musical only to be treated like crap! I do not deserve this at ALL and am outraged! I have not been on the stage all my life to be treated like an ameture in a HIGH SCHOOL PERFORMANCE! Last year, the director treated another student like this. When he didn't make the show this year I guess they needed a replacement and I was there to be so. But unlike the other student, I won't stand for it. This will either stop aor my continuation in this project will. Not to sound too arrogant, but AHS is LUCKY to hav eme in this pathetic show when I have better opportunities elsewhere. Tomorrow I'll have a little talk with Madame Payne expressing my concern and my wishes for change. I deserve better, I know I do. But I truly doubt anything will happen. As much as I'll hate to cease my existence in the musical, and as much as I'll miss being with my friends there, I won't hesitate. I don't enoy making this show such a high priority only to be yelled at by the unsympathetic directors. And it won't phase me to walk out a day before opening! I'm not a quitter, I just don't deserve this and won't take it. I am not just beggining in this field. I understand where I'm at. I know how far I have to go and how little I've really come, but I'm very much ahead of where I'm being placed in Annie Get Your Gun right now!

So anyway, thanks for reading my rantings, I just had to get it off my chest. And yes I do feel better now. That's why I keep an online blog: to get rid of the things bothering me and recieve therapy via writing. This is something everyone can enjoy and I urge people to start a blog or onling journal or whatever. Just express yourself.

This week has been nothing but craziness with all that's going on, but I must confess that I LOVE it! It's what I live for: a busy schedule, no free time! It's an actors dream. My first competitive forensics match is this weekend in Marion. I hope I do well and go on. I want to go to state this year, and not just as an observer. But I should have gone last year. I was screwed over.

I got my hair cut today by the lovely Laura Altizer. She agreed to do hair and make-up for The Baltimore Waltz and I know she'll do a marvelous job! But she decided to experiment with styles for the show today using my hair! So I had a wonderful dapper dan/film noir style this afternoon. It was fun though. And I'm ver grateful to Laura for making our show beautiful, which she will do! And you be sure to come and see it too!

I ♥ Huckabees

Well I just saw one of the most amazing films of the year that I must talk about. Through the Arts Array series at the Cinemall, I just saw I ♥ Huckabees. It was AMAZING! I love movies that are able to be funny yet intellectual and deep at the same time. That's something that's slightly hard to accomplish on fil I presume. And to add to it, the film had vey beautiful cinemaphotography. The pale, pastel colors, white and black, it all made for a remakable sight. This is the kind of movie I love. I'll add it to my list of recent great movies (in no particular order):
1) Garden State
2) Finding Neverland
3) I ♥ Huckabees
I know that there are more, and maybe they'll come to me later. But ah well....
The music for this movie was perfectly chosen too. Like Garden State. I must obtain the sound track ASAP. There's an excuse to go to Barnes & Nobel....

Well today was the first day of auditions for The Baltimore Waltz that didn't happen. We had two people scheduled to audition today, but come to find out that neither had prepared peices for audition. Luckily, we're having a second audition date on Thursday, so we'll just add them to it. I'm very excited about this production and really can't wait to dive in. I'm already skimming the surface with pre-production goodness. Mostly business stuff, set design, the initial idea. I've settled on going film noir/dectective mystery. Our website is now up http://www.thebaltimorewaltz.7p.com and I encorage all to visit it. AND COME SEE THE SHOW! SUPPORT THE ARTS! May 10th and 11th. Reserve tickets through Barter (628-3991), but they're not on sale yet. Stay tuned for sale date!

Now I sit here writing and listening to Act Two from Jerry Springer the Opera, which I must give highest honors to. I love this show! Just the idea of turning that white trash t.v. show into an opera, something associated with the rich, intelligent, upper-classes (although it doesn't have to be) makes me smile. And I cannot stop laughing from hearing Satan and Jesus' argument through an exceptional aria. "TALK TO THE STIGMATA!" "RAPED BY AN ANGEL, RAPED BY GOD! (referring to Mary)" Some might say that this show crosses boundaries and is unsuitable. But one must remember that's it's not to be taken seriously. It may present ideas and thoughts, but it's up to you, the audience, to decipher and make your own thoughts and ideas based on what is presented to you. Some people get so angry and offended from watching plays, but that proves that we've accoplished our goal. We've gotten people to start thinking. This only applies when a person has seen a show first. If they haven't seen a show, and start their outcries beforehand, I must say that that's called ignorance.

We'll I'll go now and play on the internet a bit before I must retire. I cannot stop thinking about Fordham now and how bad I want to get into that school! I love it. I have to be there, I need to be there. I felt a connection upon entering that amazing school and I must sustain it! So wish me luck, and I need your prayers...or meditations. Whatever it is that you, the reader, do. So good night.